Greys.....

I am not happy shiny.. never have been. I am dark and twisty.. always have been. And for a long time I thought that was maybe a bad thing.. but I have decided its not a good or a bad thing.. it just is. You are who you are. And when I try to be happy shiny.. i usually just feel and probably look stupid. Because.. you cant really fake it till you make it where this is concerned. I use to be jealous of other moms blogs.. wish I could find the happiness and light in my children and my life. But maybe its not about that. Maybe I get just as much joy from the darkness.. and craziness.. Not their troubles mind you.. but actually the troubles of their day are sometimes good for the best laugh between us. Like Shawn walking into Justice's study hall in a leather jacket and scaring the teachers so bad that they had to pair up to approach him. Guess they thought he was going to pull his gun. lol.. Mortified Justice.. Horrified Justice.. but later at home.. Funny stuff.. we laughed.. dark and twisty! Justice telling his teacher that I drink a bloody mary every morning for breakfast.. and that it is very bloody! WAS ALMOST TO MUCH!!. Its not just me.. its my family as well.. its like genetic.. if its not spose to be funny or its politically incorrect..or God forbid a funeral.. laughter may over take us.  BEST STUFF EVER!.. So I decided that its silly to worry about wether or not its okay for me to be this way... and to just be. Dark.. Twisty.. Crazy.. Funny.. Loving.. Who needs happy shiney anyway??..lala